Americans are afraid to be alone.
I’m serious.
When was the last time you went to a coffee shop BY YOURSELF and stayed to drink your caramel macchiato?
Never, that’s when. I’m sure of it.
On Monday, I was driving home from work and couldn’t bring myself to just go home. I wanted more than just three hours of Gilmore Girls, an hour on the treadmill and then bed.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Lorelei and Rory more than LIFE, but, as my fellow intern Lauren said today, “after so many episodes on Bravo, you start to hate yourself just a little bit.”
So true.
Cue Monday evening, when I decided to get adventurous and take the exit to downtown Davis. I knew where Chipotle was and figured I pick it up and take a book in to read while I ate--the ultimate shield for someone eating alone.
As I walked to the register, I found my self saying “to go please.”
I chickened out.
I had forgotten my book and wasn’t ready to eat sans something to read. But as I went to the soda fountain, I was like, I just paid $2 for this soda and if I leave I can’t get a refill.
Damnit, I’m staying!
I took a seat at the counter and began to munch on my burrito bowl. As I looked out the window, I reflected on how awkward I felt about being alone. Was that my personality, or something more?
I think it’s a little of both. We live in a culture that seems to think being in a cafe or restaurant alone is somehow a reflection on who we are--or who we’re not.
One thing I learned to cope with daily in Europe was being alone. Yes, I had Sarah and Nikki, but sometimes, I didn’t. More often than not, people sat alone in cafe’s and restaurants and people-watched.
Granted, staring is a cultural norm in France, Spain and Italy...so the people watching is far less creepy and much more accepted across the pond.
About halfway through my meal, I began to feel more comfortable with my loner-self and reflected on what the day had taught me. I thought about the spreadsheets, the clients, the billing codes and what my life is like now that I am in the field.
Before I knew it, Steven was calling me. I happily answered his call and we chatted about my fairly hilarious circumstances--being all alone in a town where I know no one.
Truth is, experiences like that help us grow. If we are never alone with ourselves, how do we ever get to know who we are outside of school and work and relationships. I think one of the most important relationships is life we can foster is the one we have with the person we see in the mirror ever day.
So here’s to eating alone--try it, I dare you. Even if it is only for the Diet Coke refills.
